


Name Business

by Ernst Robel (Enjolrataire)



Category: Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: Ernst helping Martha with trans stuff I'm so, Gen, I've wanted transboy Martha for so long don't touch me, Transboy Martha, also there is a name change but that's a secret ooh, oh boy oh boy, trigger warning kinda for alcohol mention but that's it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-27
Updated: 2015-01-27
Packaged: 2018-03-09 08:32:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3243113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enjolrataire/pseuds/Ernst%20Robel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>“If I weren't a girl already I certainly wouldn't want to be one.”</p>
<p>Transboy Martha is Love, Transboy Martha is Life.</p>
<p>This one, again, is written a bit differently than my usual style (at least in the beginning), but new isn't bad! And here’s my first time featuring Martha, I think! Yay! Sorry if the first paragraph is confusing with all the parenthesis, I promise it about stops there.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Name Business

**Author's Note:**

> “If I weren't a girl already I certainly wouldn't want to be one.”
> 
> Transboy Martha is Love, Transboy Martha is Life.
> 
> This one, again, is written a bit differently than my usual style (at least in the beginning), but new isn't bad! And here’s my first time featuring Martha, I think! Yay! Sorry if the first paragraph is confusing with all the parenthesis, I promise it about stops there.

Something wasn’t right with Martha, and she (-she?) knew that, but if only she (right? No-) could put her (her… No, wrong again… maybe?) finger on it. She- well, ‘she’ didn’t feel quite right, wasn’t feeling so confident in her (there it is again, and it feels so wrong…) own skin, she (no, try the other?) guessed.

 

He had felt-- laughter. Who’d ever heard of a boy named Martha? But ‘he’, as opposed to ‘she’, did feel a lot more… Martha. Martha? How feminine a name. Not fit for someone who felt much more masculine. But he- yes, he, that sounded better- would figure that out at a later time. This wasn’t so unusual, surely… Surely others had felt the same? Felt something just wasn’t quite right in their making. Equipped with nothing but the gnawing feeling in his stomach, he guessed, he’d go on and ask the person he knew wouldn’t turn away a single person on this Earth: Ernst.

 

Sneaking out of his house wasn’t such risky business. His father wasn’t home, his mother didn’t care much where he’d go off to, whether this was because she trusted Martha or didn’t care either way, Martha himself wasn’t so sure of. Or maybe she was passed out drunk. Either way, Martha knew a good way to hop the fence and get to the street through the alleyway, anyhow. He felt fortunate that Ernst lived so close to him.

 

So off he went, slipping through the back door and hopping over the fence, careful to watch his steps and not wake the neighbour’s dog with the insistent barking. He hadn’t changed into his nightdress yet, so he was still wearing his day clothes, which he was thankful for. They were much less likely to catch on things and tear, something his parents would be furious about. A few minutes of walking against the dim light of the setting sun and he was at Ernst’s house, moving to the side of it and knocking gently but persistently on Ernst’s window.

 

Ernst moved quickly from his bed to the window, assuming it was Hanschen. He opened it swiftly and smiled at Martha upon seeing him. “Martha! Hi! What are you doing here?”

 

Martha hadn’t really planned this out. He bashfully offered a smile of his own. “Hi. I uh, I wanted to talk to you, if that’s okay.”

 

“Of course,” Ernst smiled, moving back from the window and allowing Martha to climb through it. “What did you want to talk about?”

 

Once Martha squeezed through, he turned to close the window and sat himself against the wall. “Do you think that someone should- is it okay to- lately I’ve been feeling like- wow, it’s hard to get the words out.”

 

Ernst, who was sitting opposite Martha, pulled his knees to his chest. His smile faded and his brow furrowed in concern. He placed a gentle hand on Martha’s shoulder. “Is this about your dad again?”

 

“Oh, no,” Martha smiled, which relived Ernst. “This is something different. Something about me.”

 

“Thank goodness,” Ernst sighed, relieved, his smile reforming. “Take your time.”

 

“Well I- I guess I’ve just- do you… think it’s okay for, for someone to not feel like a girl? If they were born a girl, I mean, and they just didn’t really think that’s what was right for them. I don’t know how to-“ Martha stopped himself, as Ernst’s eyes had grown large and he had gotten up and fled to his closet. “Ernst?”

 

“I know what that is! Oh, Martha, that’s completely normal! It’s called transgender, see?” he moved back to Martha and pushed a book towards him with a page on gender identities propped open. “It’s when your birth sex doesn’t match up with what your brain and heart feel like.”

 

Martha was relieved, and, because of this, hugged the book to him as he wept. “I’m not a freak, I’m not alone, oh thank you, Ernst!”

 

Ernst moved to wrap his arms around Martha’s huddled form. “Do you need tissues?”

 

“No, no, I’ll be alright, thank you. Oh, I just can’t believe this.” He held the book away from him, eyes scanning over that word over and over again. _Transgender._

 

Martha’s eyes only focused elsewhere when Ernst dropped a pile of clothes in front of him. “You can try some of them on if you’d like, some are Hanschen’s and one is Georg’s that he left here once. I don’t think he even remembers the old coat anymore.”

 

Martha was completely overjoyed. Boy clothes! ”God, Ernst, you’re an angel!”

 

Ernst shook his head a little. “Just a boy like you. I’ll turn around and close my eyes, you can tell me when you’ve changed.”

 

Martha nodded quickly and began rummaging through the pile, picking up clothes that looked like they’d fit him and slowly stripping off his dress to change into them. When he told Ernst he could look, the other boy turned around to see Martha dressed in some old pants of his and Georg’s coat. Ernst clapped his hands together excitedly. “They look good on you! And they fit alright?”

 

“Yes,” Martha smiled, moving to look at himself in Ernst’s full-body mirror. “I almost look like… like a real boy.”

 

Ernst moved up to stand beside him. “You _are_ a real boy, as far as I’m concerned.”

 

Martha shook his head, still taking in the exciting image of himself wearing something other than an old dress, something he felt more fitting in. “Thank you so much, for everything.”

 

“Not a problem, M- do you have a preferred name you’d like me to call you?”

 

Martha shook his head again. “I haven’t thought about it much.”

 

“Well you can take all the time you need,” Ernst grinned. “It’s a part of your transition and only you can determine how fast or slow you want it to go.”

 

“I could stay close to Martha,” he said. “Marty? Martin?”

 

Ernst nodded. “But you could also choose something completely different! That’s the joy of choosing your own name, you could name yourself Pineapple if you wanted to.”

 

Martha laughed. “Pineapple. That’s so silly. I suppose I’ve always liked Kai, for a boy…”

 

Ernst gasped, delighted. “I think you look like a very good Kai.”

 

“Then it’s settled, maybe,” Kai laughed. “Kai.”

 

The two admired Kai’s reflection awhile longer, before Kai turned to face Ernst urgently. “What time is it? I’m sure it’s gotten late, time for me to change and get back home.”

 

Ernst pointed up to the clock hanging above his bed. “A few minutes past nine.”

 

“I should go,” Kai sighed. “But thank you so much, it’s so good to know this is a thing other people deal with, and it’s so good to have someone as accepting as you. Again, thank you.”

 

“Not a problem, Kai,” he said. “If you ever want to wear any clothes I have, feel free to. I’ll let you get changed again, I’m sure your parents wouldn’t approve of this.”

 

Ernst turned to face the wall as Kai changed back into his dress. “You’re too sweet. I don’t know how I can ever repay you for-“

 

“Hey, shush, don’t mention it.”

 

“Okay, I’m changed.”

 

Ernst turned back around and approached Kai to hug him.

 

“I’ll see you at church tomorrow, right?” Kai asked.

 

“Of course,” Ernst grinned, making a little wave.

 

Kai nodded and, with another smile and final thank you, moved to squeeze through the window again. He dropped down and quickly made his way back home, content in Ernst’s acceptance and new answers to some of his questions. Oh, and his new boy name.

 

He slipped back over the fence and into his house with his parents none the wiser. Once in his room, he changed into his pajamas and lied down, a smile stuck across his face. Everything was going to be okay. If he had no one else right now, he had Ernst, and that meant everything to him. Ernst knew things, and he knew for sure Ernst could help him more than he already had, had he ever needed him.

 

Kai rolled onto his side, hugging his pillow and slipping into a blissful sleep.


End file.
